Mary and I rarely go to the movies these days. I hate going to a crowded theater with people who talk during the film or make incessant noises as they scarf down their popcorn and jujubees. We are far more likely to enjoy a film in the comforts of our own home. We rarely see a film until it has come to DVD. Last night, we watched Seabiscuit.
While I did not live through the period described in this piece, I am certain that Seabiscuit, Charles Howard (his owner), Red Bollard (his rider) and Tom Smith (his trainer) did indeed inspire and uplift a nation that had been beaten down by the great depression. I have no doubt that the masses of the time thrilled to the victories of this underdog horse and the trilogy of people who helped make him a winner.
I am sad to say that very little of their heroism and excitement was demonstrated in this film.
Seabiscuit was a great disappointment. Director, Gary Ross, took a fabulous story, gorgeous scenery and wonderful actors, and mucked it up with a lousy script, shoddy editing, and hokey special effects, mixing in an overkill of emotionalism which conveniently attempted to overshadow the films shortcomings.
A young Red Pollard earns two dollars during the depression era. We find out that he somehow earned it at the race track. We are never told exactly how, but we figure out it must have been riding. His mother and father abandon him to the track, kissing him on the forehead and telling him he has "a gift". They promise to write him, but we never hear from them again. Bizarre.
When Howard's son dies, his wife shuts him out. Their marriage is disolved and another woman enters his life. A bat of the eyelashes and a few dates later, they are married. Since we really don't get to know these characters, we could care less.
We are told of Seabiscuits incredible heart, the force that drives him to be a winner. When trainer Tom Smith sees the horse for the first time, he sees something in his eyes that staggers him. We look and see a horses big eyes. Ooooh. There's - a - winner - if - I - ever - saw - one.
On the track, the jockeys talk to each other while racing as though they had nothing better to do. And the closeups appear to be as phony and unbelievable as if I had used a toy stick horse to film it myself. (Ok, maybe not THAT bad, but it certainly wasn't believable).
The film jumped from scene to scene very roughly, often leaving me attempting to figure out what had just happened. Mr. Ross sacrificed too many opportunities to fill in the gaps and draw us into the story. In fact, the story would have ended better if they concluded at Seabiscuit's victory against War Admiral. Afterwards, the horse is injured. Red is injured. Both are told they will never race again. The doctor even suggests putting Seabiscuit down. Too bad they didn't give the same offer to Red. ;-)
Needless to say, in an anticlimactic final 30 minutes, both heal up miraculously and go on to win a race far less dramatic than the head to head with War Admiral. Yawn. Clocking in at two hours twenty minutes, I don't see how I managed to only see two-dimensional characters. Yes, I wanted to cheer for them, but in the same way that I wanted to cheer for the Tri Lams at the end of Revenge of the Nerds. Hey, who knew that Anthony Edwards could really act? (Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!)
Oscar nomination for Best Picture? Double yawn. It was good, but not great. It didn't even live in the same neighborhood as great. It's so far from great that... ah, never mind... Then again, this nomination is brought to us by the same folks that honored those wretched pictures, American Beauty and Pulp Fiction.
And so, with great disappointment, I place my copy of Seabiscuit on DVD on sale at Amazon.com Marketplace. Its priced to sell at $9.25.
And my email JUST went "ding". What should appear but an email notifying me that the DVD has just sold. That was fast! Well, at least the buyer didn't pay full price for what should have been only a rental in the first place.
Afterthought: The best part of the film was how they got the horse to calm down as he was being extremely ornery in his pen. They brought him a "She-Biscuit" ;-)
It's Del.icio.us!
Furl It!
