In a landmark decision that will be sure to usher in a new world Internet order, a World Wide Web judge has just granted Internet marketing guru and entrepreneur Joel Comm the exclusive trademark rights to the ".com" web address suffix, placing all websites everywhere with a ".com" domain under the jurisdiction and discretion of Joel Comm.
The decision came about when Joel Comm successfully sued Al Gore, who had previously laid claim to "inventing" the Internet in 1999. However, citing multiple witnesses and scores of websites as evidence, and pointing specifically to the surname he has carried since birth, Joel Comm was able to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he, Comm, was in fact the person who invented the Internet and gave it his own last name.
In making their case, attorneys for the defendant, Al Gore, raised questions about the spelling of the name Comm. If Joel were indeed the true inventor of the Internet, they asked, then why weren't all websites affixed with a ".comm"?
Joel explained that back in 1997, two years before Gore took credit for the Internet, he was messing around in his basement on his computer and came up for the idea for the World Wide Web. When it came time to write the first web address however, right as he had written worldvillage.com, he was about to type the second "m" when his computer ran out of memory. Now, Joel was flat broke at the time, and memory costing what it did, he couldn't afford to spell out his entire name and so ".com" it was.
Judge Bill Gates, arbitor of the Universal Court of the World Wide Web in which the case was heard, asked Joel why he happened to be so broke at that time. Joel explained that days prior to his conceiving the internet, he had been aiding the Nigerian government with acquiring some funds stuck in escrow and was flat broke at the time.
Now that Joel Comm has received the proper recognition for his accomplishments and been given back what was rightfully his, the general public may be wondering what comes next. Being the humanitarian that he is, Joel has agreed not to shut down the Internet by denying the operators of .com's the right to maintain their websites. He is however asking every person with a .com to register their site with him.
In addition, instead of asking all websites to change their addresses to .comm (which would be well within his legal rights), Joel has instead announced that he will be legally changing his name to Joel Com.
To be in compliance with the New Internet (or to nominate Joel for the Nobel Peace Prize), please visit TopOneRegistry.com
It's Del.icio.us!
Furl It!
April 1, 2009 01:16 PM
Thanks man, with all the other dudes who have "owned" me up till now you might as well join the party....
...does this mean you will be paying my
Google Adwords bill from now on?
...seriously, I smiled for the first time this week. Thanks..
April 1, 2009 01:27 PM
Wow! Monumental court ruling, in deed.
So I guess that means I'll need to turn over all .com domains to you, including all of their attributes (affiliations, causes, etc.)
Good thing I own .net, .biz & .info versions of the same urls, just different extensions.
Well played & even better well thought out (to it's end game)
Best,
-K
(formerly Puls, now 'net')
April 1, 2009 01:29 PM
Super great news :-) I am lovin'it :-) Super duper great :-)
April 1, 2009 01:30 PM
Ohhhhh, OKAY... you got me! Good one Joel!
April 1, 2009 02:44 PM
Now that is a good one. Gonna add this to my April Fools Post!
April 1, 2009 02:46 PM
Good one :). Happy Fools Day to everyone!!!
April 1, 2009 02:48 PM
Wow Joel!
Can I get a WITNESS????
Who gave this ruling? ... Judge Dredd?
Hehe:)
Nice April Fools to you too!
April 1, 2009 02:59 PM
I'm thinking you're going to be a rich man very soon. So...are you married? Men who rule the world are just so interesting.
April 1, 2009 04:07 PM
Good try, Joel. It's April Fool's Day....
Carpe diem. :-)
April 1, 2009 04:13 PM
Wow! That was a star studded court room! But shouldn't you change your name to Joel.com (with the dot)? I mean if Prince could change his name to a symbol then you could certainly put the dot in your name? LOL! Very creative, love the post!
Nora from http://nochiprasblogspot.blogspot.com
April 2, 2009 12:29 AM
Very well thought out. This is one of the best April fools post I've read. Good one! :-)
April 2, 2009 03:09 AM
Hey you lot how's it going ... Ive always thought the Comm surname was just a devious way to drive more traffic to Joel's sites ... but once you get to no the guy you soon realize ... of course it is ... It was posted on April the first guys n gals ... comm onn
All my best to you and your April
Phillip Skinner
April 2, 2009 08:06 AM
As soon as I saw the title for this article, i said to myself, "ha very funny."
April 2, 2009 12:46 PM
Hey Joel...lol it has to be some type of april fools joke ;-)
Terrance Charles
www.twitter.com/terrancecharles
April 2, 2009 06:36 PM
Ha Ha, Well done - nice for a laugh - You the Man Joel !!
April 2, 2009 10:03 PM
Had me going for a few sentences! NWIO.... totally hilarious :)
April 2, 2009 10:04 PM
Funny...Now all we need is to see you run for the White House in 2012.
April 2, 2009 10:27 PM
Good one, Joel... very creative. Thanks. That's almost as funny as @WillieCrawford and @dpinc (David Preston) with "Longest Wiener." ;)
I like Joel.com or JoelDotCom.com or JoelDotComm.com. Ok, it's late.
Cheri
April 2, 2009 10:35 PM
You had me until the tenth word of the title :) Cool April fools day joke Joel.
April 4, 2009 06:41 AM
I'm reading your post with carefully thinking it's for real,lol couldn't see that one coming :p
April 10, 2009 02:51 PM
That's a good one.
Did anyone claim the www ?
I am the inventor of .con
April 13, 2009 10:08 PM
haha thats a good one. Its ok I got .net!
April 16, 2009 02:29 AM
i have some questions in mind, but what can i say... you got me there dude!